‘Like every other girl, Tia was also living in her dreamland when it comes to her marriage. Since childhood, she had only dreamt about the prince charming riding his horse who will rescue Princess Tia from every person who was bothering her.
Eventually, she found her prince charming
Time flew and parents happily knotted the tie with her prince charming. But soon Princess Tia had to come out of her La-la land because her prince charming has now turned into a regular husband. Princess Tia could not turn herself into a regular wife even though their marriage has turned into a regular marriage. But this regular marriage is not running smoothly like any other regular marriage because of the extraordinary expectation of Princess Tia (this is what her newly transformed regular husband says)’.
It is the most common story when it comes to marriage. In my 13 years of career as a lawyer, counselor and also as a Life Re-imprinting Coach I have come across thousands of couples like Princess Tia and her prince charming who turned into a regular husband and every single time it gives me immense pain to see when these couples fail to balance the regular and La-la land life. This write up will surely help you to live and enjoy both the lives simultaneously, without pretending and with ease.
The common problem in any relationship is the pre-set mind. Even before our marriage we create a picture around this relationship from the day we will first meet our partner till the last day of our life. We start living in that dream picture, which may or may not turn into reality. The time when we are actually into that relationship, we try to live that picture. We are so much engrossed with the picture of our dreams that we overlook the reality. We are so much into our dreamland that we are not ready to accept changes. We have knitted the expectation around the relationship which the other person might not be even aware of. We want our partner to understand everything without us mentioning about the same. Then there may be a situation where we might have mentioned about the same to our partner but still, our partner is not acting upon the same. Whenever a person sets a certain expectation from the other person, they forget to consider the opinion or choice of the other, as if the other person is a robot without any feeling. Such one-sided expectation is making the relationship suffocating. This is the most common reason why love flies away after a few years of marriage.
After reading this ‘most common problem of any relationship’, anyone would come up with the solution that one should not have any expectations from their partner. But is it possible? Being a human can we ever leave our expectations and that to from our life partner? No, that’s not possible and moreover having any expectation from our partner is not wrong but we need to learn that it should not override the love and happiness in the relationship. Your unfulfilled expectations should not turn into perception about your partner. Perception is the key to ruin your relationship. So, use this key wisely. Thoughts are the biggest challenge faced by any relationship because it is nowhere near to the facts. Whatever the case is before forming any perception about your partner use the tool of communication. While you are communicating with your partner just remember the ingredient of good and positive communication to achieve the desired outcome. While communicating with your partner the first and foremost rule is to have positive physiology and tone. Shrug off the harsh tone and focus on the information. Leave the perception aside and live in the present moment. Repair your relationship by removing past memories. Find the purpose of your marriage as to why you are into this marriage.
Once you will get the purpose of your marriage, you will start living for that positive purpose
rather than killing your relationship in the hands of perception. Keeping in mind the purpose of your marriage along with gratitude and empathy, anyone and everyone can live a passionate and happy married life.
To help you get started, I am holding a session on: How to have ‘a happy relationship’ exclusively @ NLP India Summit 2020
NLP Life Re-imprinting Coach
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